Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Woman Left Terrified By What Her Boyfriend Said To Her In His Sleep

Sleeptalk-A-262x175.jpgSleeptalk-A.jpgDeposit Photos (Picture Posed By Model)

Sleep talking when it’s your other half is creepy. Even though we know the sleeper is just spouting junk from some weird corner of their mind, they can sometimes sound like a completely different person entirely.

Lying in the dark, with the sleeping person whispering nonsense beside you, it can feel as though you are at the beginning of a regulation haunted house movie.

And one woman’s decidedly odd experience with her sleep-talking boyfriend has sent shivers down the collective spine of the internet…

Taking to Tumblr, the disturbed girlfriend revealed how she had been more than a little surprised when her half-asleep Aussie boyfriend began talking away with an American accent:

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me ‘don’t worry, it’s getting better’ in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

However, things only got stranger from there, with the uneasy girlfriend continuing:

‘Why are you American?’ I asked, to which I got:

‘Sorry, it’s getting better’ in a stereotypical posh English accent.

Then things got really eerie:

‘Why are you English?’ I asked, amused.

‘What is he normally?’ He managed to ask.

‘He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you’.

‘Ugh, me’ was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

A freaky story no doubt, but this woman is certainly not alone. People all over the world are able to relate to having a sleep talking partner, or indeed being the sleep-talker themselves.

Indeed, one Reddit thread revealed just how scary and bizarre these dream chats can get.

One person confessed:

My boyfriend talks in his sleep with his eyes open a lot. This one night I was having trouble sleeping and heard some kind of a noise that freaked me out, so I cuddled in closer to him.

He turned over, looked me dead in the face and said, ‘I can’t protect you. When they come they’re just going to kill me.’

I immediately moved away from him. Next thing I know he latches onto me from behind and just starts laughing. I was certain I was about to die.

Another shuddering person recalled:

Girlfriend was laughing in her sleep. When I asked ‘what was so funny’ she sat bolt upright, pointed to the darkest corner of the room and in a low tone muttered ‘THEM!’. I slept on the couch that night.

One particularly gory account came from a horrified boyfriend who saw quite a different side to his beloved one dark night:

Ok, I was still awake and reading, my then girlfriend had been asleep for an hour or so. With one movement she turns to me and says grinning:

‘I’m wondering what it looks like in my mothers head. Blood and gore all over the place’. Then she grinned, turned over and muttered ‘…torn off limbs’. Followed by soft snoring.

She couldn’t remember any of it, and I was creeped the f*ck out. That was…that was something.

I really need to get my sleep talking/laughing under control, it’s getting relatively creepy

— rori tobinson (@torirobinson14) March 22, 2018

2 nights in a row Bill has woken me with his sleep talking. I don't mind, except when he's LAUGHING. ITS CREEPY.

— Heidi (@HeidiRhiannon) October 7, 2017

Edgar humming a song in his sleep… as if his sleep talking isn’t creepy enough :/

— julissa1f54a.png (@julissabreann) October 12, 2018

Yikes…

If you have a story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via stories@unilad.co.uk


Read more: unilad.co.uk

https://infoforu.org/woman-left-terrified-by-what-her-boyfriend-said-to-her-in-his-sleep/

Monday, August 27, 2018

Single Dad Wears Dress So His Motherless Kids Don’t Feel Left Out On Mother’s Day

thailandthumbnail-262x175.jpgthailandthumbnail.jpgKornpat Ae Sukhom/Facebook

Wow, this single father in Kanchanaburi, Thailand, just really pulled it out of the bag for his two sons. 

Chatchai Panuthai made sure his children Imsome, 3, and Ozone, 5, weren’t gonna miss out on any of the fun at a school event ahead of Mother’s Day, which is celebrated on August 12 in Thailand.

Close friend to Chatchai, Kornpat Ae Sukhom, caught the entire incident on camera and posted it to Facebook on August 9 much to the delight of social media users.

The video shows Panuthai and Ozone at the school’s Mother’s Day ceremony, during which children usually kneel at their mom’s feet as a sign of gratitude for everything they have done.

Sukhom’s video has since gone viral and received over 6,000,000 views as of Monday morning (August 13).

Mr Parnuthai said:

I’m a single dad so I just wanted to make sure that my two sons were happy.

I was a bit embarrassed, but it meant that they could take part like their classmates.

Fellow parent Kornpat Sukhom, 36, who also attended the event with her own children, heralded Parnuthai as the ‘best mother’.

(function(d, s, id) var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s); if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_GB/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v3.1'; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));

Posted by Kornpat Ae Sukhom on Thursday, 9 August 2018

She added:

In Thailand if it’s Mother’s Day, every mother has to join in activities with their children at school.

The children’s parents are divorced and the mother is now living in Europe.

This is why he showed up to the school wearing a dress to take the place of her in the celebration.

He wanted the children not to feel left out because their mother had left them.

In Thailand, August 12 is celebrated as the birthday of Her Majesty Queen Sirikit and the nation immerses in celebrations. As the Queen is also regarded as mother to all Thai people, this day is also celebrated as Mother’s Day.

Since 1976, the celebrations for Queen and for mother are held every year without fail with Thai people unanimously commemorating this day.

Not only limited to birthday celebration of the Queen, Thai people also take this day as an opportunity to thank their own mother for her unconditional love. Mother’s day morning in Thailand starts by giving alms to the monks.

Following the Thai tradition, kids kneel down before their mother to show their love and gratitude. They present her with white jasmine flowers or garlands, in return, the mother gives her blessings to the kids.

White jasmine flowers aren’t uncommon in Thailand as they symbolise maternal love. The white colour of the flower symbolises purity of mother’s true love, which will never change.

Charitable activities, donations, offering to monks are also an important part of the day to express child’s love and gratitude towards mother.

What a remarkable sentiment delivered by this father. Breaking down barriers and turning something that he and his sons may well dread into something light-hearted and interactive. An inspiration if I ever saw one.

Keep doing you, Chatchai. A gentleman and a scholar.

If you have a story you’d like to share, please email us at stories@unilad.co.uk.


Read more: unilad.co.uk

https://infoforu.org/single-dad-wears-dress-so-his-motherless-kids-dont-feel-left-out-on-mothers-day/

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

10 Signs Your Marriage Is in Trouble Again After Couples Therapy

love-316640_1280-300x201.jpgYou just completed 15 sessions of couples therapy and you’re feeling optimistic about the future. But weeks later the worry sets in: What if the change is only temporary? How will I or we know our relationship is going in the wrong direction? What are some tell-tale signs?

In the last 1-2 sessions of couples therapy, the more common signs of “relationship relapse” are explored so that each partner knows what to look for when the relationship is trending in the wrong direction and leading to the same issues that brought them into therapy initially:

1. Quiet dislike of partner.

Not listening when partner speaks. Resenting them when they enter your space. Talking in one-word sentences. Ignoring their needs when they ask for connection. Refusing intimacy repeatedly. Showing outward contempt for them. Allowing a 3rd party to be the focus as opposed to each other.

2. Weaponized silence or overreaction to little things.

Giving them the silent treatment for days at a time. Becoming agitated or resentful when your partner forgets a family chore, or they forget to buy a specific item at the store. Getting angry when they don’t clean up after their mess or for not paying a bill on time. Normal spending habits are now big issues. Forgetting a birthday becomes a point of anger.

3. Blaming the other person.

In lieu of finding a solution or negotiating through the conflict, it becomes much easier to blame each other.

4. Frequency of criticism increases.

As does the intensity of the criticism. Criticism and disapproval become more personal and less about issues or specific behaviors.

5. Refusing to recognize or acknowledge the positives of the other person.

Looking for what is wrong with your partner. Ignoring contributions from your partner (e.g., partner cooked dinner, folded the laundry, took the children so you could go to the gym or out with your friends). Looking for problems to fight about or as criticism that creates a wedge in the relationship. Setting expectations that the partner cannot achieve and subsequently criticizing them for their “failure”.

6. Becoming increasingly defensive.

Discussions about issues lead to defensive posturing. Diverting attention from the issue by pointing at something the partner does. Referring to a past incident in which the partner failed to hold up their end of the bargain. “Gunny-sacking” or collecting/accumulating grievances from the past day, week or even years, that are then used in an argument.

7. Moody, anxious, stressed, or disengaged from partner.

Spending more time apart. Fewer conversations and laughter. Loss of sense of humor that was once part of the relationship. Not coming home after work and spending more time with “the guys” or colleagues. Becoming anxious or agitated just before your partner comes home from work. Thinking about having an affair, even if only an emotional one. Texting or emailing family secrets or issues with someone at work, usually someone who has shown an interest in you.

8. Self-isolation

Not reaching out to your partner to talk or discuss feelings/thoughts (this can last days or even weeks). Ignoring bids or conversation starters (often very subtle) for attention and conversation. Hanging out in the garage or in the bedroom to avoid your partner.

9. Letting positive rituals go by the wayside.

Weekly or daily breakfasts no longer a priority. Weekly or monthly dinners or dates end. Play time is no longer important (hiking, biking, walks, going on vacation, hanging out and watching TV shows or movies). Necessary or unnecessary chores precede time together. Going to bed at separate times to avoid contact.

10. Looking outside of the relationship to have your needs met.

Having an emotional or physical affair. Engaging or increasing drug/alcohol use. Staying out later and later at night. Spending more time with friends and at work. Volunteering to avoid time with partner. Focusing on functional aspects of the relationship (e.g., children, the pets, grocery shopping, paying bills, cleaning house, getting things done) and avoiding relationship conversations.

Traditional couples and relationship therapies rarely address “marital relapse” (a return to the dysfunctional ways of being in the marriage). These “relapses” are usually seen by therapists and clients as outcomes comparable to a failure in therapy or the couple’s own failure to sustain changes made while in couples therapy. This perspective leads to dichotomous thinking — either the marriage or relationship is working smoothly, or it is not. In truth, “marital relapse” is usually a slow, transitional process — a series of incremental signs that a couple may need to consider a booster session or two to get back on track. These shifts (which are fairly common) unfold over time, and typically follow what appears to be a “successful” couples therapy experience. Marital relapse is usually a gradual, imperceptible, backsliding process that can seep into the relationship without notice by either partner until damage has been done.


Read more: psychcentral.com

https://infoforu.org/10-signs-your-marriage-is-in-trouble-again-after-couples-therapy/

Monday, July 16, 2018

You Shouldn’t Hide Your Anxiety From Your Forever Person

anxiety2-e1529598958366.jpg?w=1140&h=810God & Man

Your forever person might not know the right thing to say when your anxiety gets the best of you — but they will always be there for you. They will search for ways to comfort you. They will remind you that you are not alone and the way you are feeling is okay.

If you are worried about your anxiety pushing the other person away, then you shouldn’t be together. You should feel comfortable around them. You should feel free to show them your most vulnerable sides.

You should never settle for someone who accuses you of overreacting when you mention how sick to your stomach you are feeling. You should never put up with a relationship where you are pressured to hide your emotions to avoid arguments and mean judgements.

Your forever person is not going to be annoyed when you ask to stay home for the night even though you originally planned on getting drinks on the town. Your forever person is not going to act like you are a burden when you need to spend a few extra minutes in the car to control your breathing before walking into a party. Your forever person is not going to get angry when you ask to switch seats you can sit on the aisle instead of being flanked by strangers.

Your forever person might not have any personal experience with anxiety — but they will work their hardest to understand where you are coming from. They will try to see situation from your point of view. They will not push you out of your comfort zone, but they will encourage you to sneak out from it.

If you are with someone who is embarrassed of how quiet and awkward you get around crowds, someone who pushes you into situations you are uncomfortable being apart of, someone who disregards your emotions because they are too extreme, then you are with the wrong person.

Your anxiety is going to make you feel like a burden — but your person should never make you feel that way. They should never be the reason why you are crying yourself to sleep at night. They should be helping you fight against your anxiety, not fighting against you because you have anxiety.

It’s scary to reveal your biggest insecurities to someone, to stop playing pretend and allow them to view the uncensored you, but the right person will make you feel like it’s okay to be you and it’s okay to have anxiety. They will remind you how much you are loved on your good days and on your bad. Your anxiety is not going to get in the way of your relationship. It will simply become a part of the relationship.

You shouldn’t hide your anxiety from your forever person because they will want to help you through it in the best way they can. Even if they cannot do anything to help, they will still stand by your side. They will still want to hold your hand and squeeze, because they aren’t going anywhere. Your anxiety isn’t scaring them off. They are there to stay. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/you-shouldnt-hide-your-anxiety-from-your-forever-person/

Sunday, July 15, 2018

What Happens When You Become Comfortable In A Relationship

comfortable.jpg?w=1140&h=760Unsplash / ActionVance

Being comfortable doesn’t have to mean that you stop putting effort into your relationship, that you stop dressing up nice and going on dates and initiating sex.

Being comfortable can actually be a good thing. It could bring you closer than you ever thought possible.

Being comfortable means that you don’t freak out when they take too long to answer a text. You barely even notice because you haven’t been staring at your phone with your heart thumping hard in your chest. You have been doing your own thing, living your own life. You feel confident they will answer when they have the time and that they are not purposefully ignoring you. You trust them enough to know you’ll hear from them sometime soon.

Being comfortable means that you don’t rush to slip into a sexy dress and apply make-up before they show up at your front door because you don’t mind having them see the unfiltered version of you. You know they won’t mind if your hair is still wet from the shower or if your eye lashes haven’t been glued on yet. You aren’t embarrassed about having them see you half-finished from your morning routine, because they love you regardless of your looks.

Being comfortable means that you feel free to speak your mind. When they say something you disagree with or you consider hurtful, you let them know it. You express your uncensored opinions to them because you aren’t afraid of them running away and abandoning you. You know they would rather hear what you have to say and talk through the issue than have you suffer in silence.

Being comfortable means that you don’t always have to be on when you are around them. You don’t force yourself to fake smiles and act like you are having a good time, because they would never want you to pretend. You have seen every single side of each other, which means you are allowed to be in a bad mood in front of them. You are allowed to be quiet. You are allowed to be lazy and cuddle against their chest instead of being on your best behavior to impress them.

Being comfortable means you are your authentic self around them. You don’t feel like you can only eat salads around them. You don’t feel like you have to hold back your snorting laugh around them. You don’t feel like you have to lie about how much money you make or how many relationship you’ve been in or how much you like them. You can tell them anything without worrying about their response.

Being comfortable means you stop trying so hard. You don’t spend hours wording a text. You say the first thing that pops into your head. You don’t get self-conscious about whether they will like the way you kiss. You just enjoy their lips against your own. You don’t spend hours trying to decipher what their words meant. You just ask them.

Being comfortable means that you trust them. It means that you feel like you can rely on them. It means you are letting yourself believe in forever, because you are confident they are not going anywhere without you. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/what-happens-when-you-become-comfortable-in-a-relationship/

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Overthinking Will Chase Away Your Forever Person

forever-person1.jpg?w=1140&h=760God & Man

Overthinking will ruin your relationship, because it means you are not talking to each other. It means you are assuming what your person meant when they sent a certain text or used a certain tone. It means that instead of feeling comfortable enough to ask them a question to get clarification, you are choosing to guess what has been running through their mind to avoid a conversation.

Overthinking will chase away your forever person because it makes it look like you think the worst of them. You are probably paranoid due to your own insecurities, but it doesn’t seem that way from their point of view. If you are worried they are cheating every time they come home late and worried they are making fun of you every time they smile at their phone — then it looks like you don’t trust them. It looks like you think they are heartless and willing to hurting you.

If this person really is your forever, then you should be able to talk to them. You should feel comfortable sitting them down and having an adult discussion. If they are the right person for you, they are not going to be turned off by hearing about your feelings. They will want to know what has been bothering you. They will be happy to answer any questions that have been nagging you.

You need to talk to your person, because if you keep guessing what they are thinking, half of the time you are going to be wrong. Half of the time you are going to stress yourself out over a problem that does not even exist. Half of the time you are going to make your life harder than it has to be — and you could ruin your relationship in the process.

Think about it. When you have a fake argument with them in your head because you are convinced they did something to upset you, how do you react? You get quiet. Or snippy. Or defensive. Or angry. And your person has no idea why you are feeling that way, so they react in anger and then you’re suddenly in a fight about nothing.

The healthy move is to communicate with your person. If they say something that sounds suspicious, ask them what they meant. If they come home late and you have questions, ask them. You will be surprised by how many of your worries vanish once you create an open discussion.

You cannot keep letting yourself overthink because you are driving yourself insane for no reason. Instead of jumping to the worst case scenario, take a breather and ask your person about what has been bugging you. If they are your soulmate like you think they are, then they will be happy to clear everything up. They will be happy to calm your fears.

And if you’re dating the kind of person who fuels your paranoia, who refuses to answer questions and jumps down your throat whenever you express emotion, leave. You are in the wrong relationship anyway. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/overthinking-will-chase-away-your-forever-person/

Friday, July 13, 2018

Never Settle For Someone Inconsistent

inconsistent-e1529935523586.jpg?w=1140&h=956Unsplash / ALP Studio

When I complain about mixed signals, I am really complaining about inconsistency. I am complaining about how I never know whether you are going to answer my texts in two minutes, two days, or two weeks. I never know whether you are going to follow through on your promises to see me over the weekend, whether you are going to reschedule with me, or whether you are going to come up with an excuse to bail at the last second.

Basically, I never know whether you are going to treat me like your first priority, like a backup plan, or like I am completely invisible.

I don’t want someone inconsistent, someone who keeps me guessing, someone who makes me feel unsure about where I stand. I don’t want to be in a situation where I never have any idea what kind of mood you are going to be in or what kind of role you are going to play in my world on any particular day.

I want someone who I can trust, someone who I can rely on, someone who does not hop between emotions. I don’t want to mean everything to you one day and nothing to you the next. I want consistency.

I want someone who treats me the same whether they are lonely or surrounded by friends, whether it’s two in the morning or two in the afternoon, whether they are feeling tired or lonely or loved.

I should not have to wake up hoping today is one of the days when you actually pay attention to me, when you give me what I have been wanting. I should wake up knowing you are going to treat me right, because you always treat me right. Because your attitude about me never changes.

I am not interested in inconsistencies within the way you treat me — and I don’t want inconsistencies in your stories either. I don’t want to have to piece together the truth because you tell me different lies every time. I don’t want to play guessing games. I want you to be real with me.

I want someone who will show up every single time I need them. Someone who will text me first and plan romantic dates and have heart to hearts with me — but not just when it’s convenient for them. Even when it is inconvenient. Even when they have to go out of their way for me.

Inconsistency is unattractive. I don’t want to wonder whether you are actually going to show up when you promise you will be there. I don’t want to wait a half hour at a restaurant because you are late or wait three days for a text that only took you two minutes to type. I don’t want to wonder whether you actually care about me or whether you are only pretending to like me to get something from me.

I am not asking for anything crazy. I only want someone consistent. Someone who never stops treating me the way I deserve. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/never-settle-for-someone-inconsistent/

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

If He Liked You, He Would Answer Your Texts

texts1-e1529604805560.jpg?w=1140&h=905Unsplash / Kev Costello

If he wanted to start a relationship with you, if he wanted to turn you into his girlfriend, if he wanted a serious commitment — then he would not keep you waiting. He would not go weeks without answering your texts. He would not send mixed signals that leave you wondering whether he is interested in dating you or whether he has only been stringing you along.

If he liked you, if he was attracted to you, if he couldn’t stop thinking about you — then he would text you back as soon as he had the time, because he would want to hear from you. He wouldn’t want to go another day, another hour, another minute without interacting with you. He would be dying to continue the conversation. He would be jumping at the sound of his notifications the same way you have been doing when his name appears on the screen.

If he felt the same way about you, if he got butterflies around you, if he was leaning towards falling in love with you — then would not be acting so distant. He would not ghost you for weeks at a time and then come popping back in your world with flirtatious comments. He would not bounce back and forth between acting like you are the center of his universe and acting like you are invisible. His behavior would not be this confusing. It would not be hard to figure out what he wanted. It would be obvious. You would know, just by looking into his eyes.

If he wanted you for more than an ego boost, more than a one-night stand, more than a friend — then he would answer your texts without making you wait three days. He would clear his schedule and invite you to hang out with him on weekends. He would make time for you. He would make an effort for you.

You have to accept that he doesn’t like you enough to put a title on your relationship, enough to rearrange his schedule to see you, enough to give you what you desperately want from him — either that or he is too lazy to put in the effort.

Either way, he is not someone worthy of your time. He is not the kind of person you should call your forever. He belongs in your past because he clearly has not made room for you in his future. You do not want to be stuck in a one-sided relationship where you are always offering more, helping more, loving more.

You deserve someone who meets you halfway. You are not supposed to settle for a relationship where you are unsure — of your worth and of his feelings for you.

Even though you like him, even though you cannot stop thinking about him, even though you would do anything to change his mind about you, you should let him go, because if he cannot even send a text back, then imagine all the other ways he will let you down. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/if-he-liked-you-he-would-answer-your-texts/

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

10 Ways A Toxic Relationship Made Me Love Myself Less

toxic-relationship-e1528745978421.jpg?w=1140&h=778Unsplash / Frank Busch

1. You made me feel annoying. You would allow your thoughts to drift away whenever I tried to talk to you. You never listened. You took forever to answer my texts. I felt like a burden every time I opened my mouth to speak, every time I expressed an emotion, every time I asked whether you were free to see me again.

2. You made me feel lonely. You never texted me in the morning. You never complained about how much you missed me. Even when we were in the same room together, there were times when it felt like you were a million miles away.

3. You made me feel worthless. You acted like you didn’t want me around. You acted like I was lucky you would deal with me when I had so many issues. You acted like you could have done so much better but were doing me a favor by staying.

4. You made me feel ugly. You used me for sex — but other than that, you never gave any indication you were attracted to me. You never called me beautiful or complimented my outfits or noticed when I changed my hair. You never introduced me to your parents or bragged to your friends about me. You never made me feel special.

5. You made me feel clingy. You left my messages unread, so I double texted. You failed to clear your schedule for date nights, so I had to rearrange mine. You never told me what you were thinking, so I had to pull answers out of you. I had to chase you, even though you were already supposed to be mine.

6. You made me feel paranoid. I was jealous of every female friend you had. I was tempted to scroll through your texts and dig through your laptop. I was worried you were going to cheat on me because you never hid your attraction to other women. I felt like you would abandon me at any moment.

7. You made me feel stupid. You would argue with every opinion I gave. You would talk down to me, as if you knew everything. Whenever I would say something you considered ‘right’, you would act surprised, as if you could not believe that there was any semblance of intelligence hidden beneath my skin.

8. You made me feel embarrassed. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents stories about you, because they made you look bad. I was too embarrassed to tell you how I was secretly feeling, because I knew you would never understand. I was too embarrassed to post the truth about our relationship online, because I knew everyone would warn me to break up with you.

9. You made me feel trapped. For a while, I knew that you were not right for me, but I stayed, because I had grown attached to you. I felt like I was not allowed to leave you, because you had a strange power over me.

10. You made me feel unlovable. You never gave me the love I deserved. Or the respect I deserved. Or the attention or the affection or the adoration I deserved. You treated me horribly — which is why I finally decided to walk away. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/10-ways-a-toxic-relationship-made-me-love-myself-less/

The Strongest Girls Care Too Much

strongest-girls2.jpg?w=1140&h=758Unsplash / Timothy Dykes

The strongest girls are the ones who are unafraid of caring. The ones who will express their feelings without hesitation. The ones who realize it is okay to show vulnerability. The ones who continue to wear their hearts on their sleeves even though it has hurt them in the past.

The strongest girls misvalue themselves because they wish they cared less. They wish they didn’t give a fuck. They wish they could turn their emotions off like a switch. A part of them hates themselves for how much they care.

However, the truth they are unable to see is that the strongest girls care deeply — but they care about the right things. They don’t care about their reputation, about how much money they make or which labels are on the clothing they buy.

They care about whether their friends are doing okay. They care about how much time they get to spend with their family. They care about whether they are advancing with their career. They care about their passions, about their hopes, about their accomplishments. They care about creating a life that fulfills them.

The strongest girls are the ones who still care about that toxic person who left their life a long time ago. They would never allow that person back into their life because they have high standards — but at the same time they hope that person is doing okay. They wish that person the best even if that person was the absolute worst.

The strongest girls come across as pushovers — but that is not the case at all. They have a temper they could unleash at any time, but they choose kindness. They choose to see the best in others. They choose to look at the world as a beautiful place instead of dwelling on the horrors hidden inside, which takes work.

The strongest girls are selfless. Sure, they consider themselves a priority because self-care is important, but they also care about the world as a whole. They care about the well-being of others. They would rather spread happiness than hog it for themselves.

The strongest girls are the ones who care too much. The ones who leave their hearts open even though it’s risky. Who are in love with the idea of love even though they have been bruised before. These girls send double texts because they are worried about you. They like your selfies to make you feel empowered. They overthink every word that leaves their lips because they would never want to hurt your feelings.

The strongest girls are the ones who are unafraid of living their truth, because they would rather be honest than tell a little white lie. They would rather admit how they are feeling than bottle up the pain until they explode. They would rather send too many texts and ask too many questions than send mixed signals that leave the other person feeling unworthy.

The strongest girls care too much — but that is a good thing. That is proof of their soft heart. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/the-strongest-girls-care-too-much/

Monday, July 9, 2018

Apologize To Yourself For Settling

settling-e1528811723793.jpg?w=1140&h=812God & Man

Apologize to yourself for all of the times when you were silently suffering. When you claimed you were fine because you didn’t want to seem overemotional. When you acted like you were okay with a casual relationship because you wanted to come across as cool. When you cried yourself to sleep or locked yourself in a bathroom stall because you didn’t want to admit you were more vulnerable than you looked.

Apologize to yourself for all of the times when you settled for less than you deserved. When you stayed in a bad relationship for a little too long. When you reached out to your toxic ex because you were feeling lonely. When you decided you could not do any better so you might as well enter a relationship with someone you only kind of liked.

Apologize to yourself for all of your unmet expectations. When you stayed up past your bedtime to wait for a text that was not coming. When you took an extra hour to get dressed nicely for a certain someone and then they ended up canceling plans. When you got your hopes up about a date night that fell through. When you got excited about dating someone who ended up being another almost.

Apologize to yourself for all of the wasted time you spent waiting. When you kept glancing back at your phone, waiting for a certain name to pop onto the screen. When you sat alone at a restaurant or inside of your car because they showed up later than they promised. When you forced yourself to give them a little bit longer because you thought they would eventually place a label onto your relationship.

Apologize to yourself for placing yourself low on your priority list. When you skipped class or called out of work to spend time with someone who never would have rearranged their schedule for you. When you lost sleep because you were busy arguing with someone who didn’t care you had to get up early the next morning. When you drove miles out of your way to see someone, because they never would have done the same for you but you still wanted to see them.

Apologize to yourself for missing the red flags you should have seen. When your friends warned you about a certain someone but you ignored them and called them jealous. When you decided to ignore all of the faults in someone because most of the time things were good between you. When you actually did notice the warning signs but actively chose to ignore them because you didn’t want the relationship to end.

Apologize to yourself for the horrible thoughts you have had about yourself over the years. When you were brokenhearted and convinced you would never find love again. When you believed you were the problem. When you wondered whether you would ever be enough for someone. When you called yourself ugly and unlovable.

Apologize to yourself for settling for such a long time, because you know damn well you deserve more. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/apologize-to-yourself-for-settling/

Dating Someone Toxic Does Not Mean You Are ‘Desperate’

desperate-e1529675924318.jpg?w=1140&h=899Unsplash / Tyler Nix

I have fallen for toxic people before, people who manipulated me, people who took control of every aspect of my world — but the reason I handed them my heart was not because I was desperate for love.

Most people assume I stayed in an unhealthy situation because I could not stand the thought of being alone, because I wanted to date someone, anyone, but they have it all wrong.

I did not stay because I was terrified of being single again, because I needed someone to keep me company, because I was uncomfortable falling asleep in an empty bed at night. I’m actually fine on my own. I don’t mind being single. I don’t need a relationship in order to feel validated.

I chose to enter such a poisonous relationship because I held strong feelings for that person. Because I failed to see the red flags. Because I thought they were worth the effort.

I was fooled into believing that I was reaching out of my league. I didn’t realize I was settling. I thought I couldn’t do any better — and not because of low self-worth. It was because I thought that person was perfect in every way. I thought they were the ideal partner.

I know some people assume I was desperate to be loved and held and called baby because I stayed for so long, but staying had nothing to do with desperation either.

I knew that leaving would probably be easier, that it would make most of my problems disappear, but I made the decision to trek down the difficult path. I realized every relationship had its faults and I wanted to fix the ones in mine. I wanted to fight to make things work. I wanted to give us another chance.

Looking back, I understand I made the wrong decision. I shouldn’t have stayed for nearly as long as I did. I should have recognized how unfixable the relationship had become. I should have packed my bags and saved myself from gaining more baggage. I know that now.

But that doesn’t mean I stayed out of desperation. I was never under the impression that I wouldn’t be able to find someone else to date if I left. I wasn’t afraid that no one else would ever love me the way that he loved me. I knew I had options. I knew losing him wouldn’t mean losing love forever.

I didn’t stay because I was desperate. I didn’t stay because I felt like I had no place else to go. I didn’t stay because I was afraid of the loneliness. Those things had absolutely nothing to do with my decision.

I stayed out of love. I loved them, even though they were toxic. I wanted to save them, even though they were supposed to save themselves. I knew I could live without them, but I didn’t want to live without them.

I stayed in a relationship that hurt me in a million different ways — but not because I was desperate. It was because I was so fucking in love that I could not see straight. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/dating-someone-toxic-does-not-mean-you-are-desperate/

Sunday, July 8, 2018

My Insecurities Are Ruining My Love Life

insecurities-e1529517014390.jpg?w=1140&h=839Unsplash / Alex Iby

When someone gives signals they are interested in me, I am oblivious. I assume they are only being nice when they are flirting — and on the rare occasions when I actually admit to myself that they are flirting, I convince myself that they are only bored. That they aren’t interested in anything more than a fun night out.

I cannot imagine someone falling for me. I cannot fathom a world where a guy would choose to be with me over all of his other options. Entering a happy relationship does not sound believable. It sounds unrealistic.

My insecurities shatter my self-confidence and without any sense of self-worth I cannot bring myself to flirt. I cannot conjure up the courage to walk over to someone I find attractive and initiate a conversation with them because I assume they won’t want anything to do with me. I assume they are going to give me one-word answers until I get the hint and walk away from them.

I feel like I am not relationship material, because even when someone approaches me and makes the first move, I am awkward. I am hesitant to believe their compliments because they sound phony. I don’t see myself as beautiful, so I have trouble accepting how anyone else could.

I am the kind of person who would need reassurance that someone loves me, even if they agreed to marry me. Even if we had children together. Even if we spent a lifetime with each other.

My trust issues are extreme. I do not believe anyone will stay. I am in a constant state of paranoia that I am going to be abandoned for someone prettier, younger, livelier, sweeter. I have a fear of growing attached to anyone because I don’t want to be blindsided when they leave.

That is why I have taught myself to expect the worst. I assume people will ghost me. I assume conversations are going to go poorly. I assume flirtatious texts are never going to lead to anything serious.

My insecurities have convinced me that I am forever alone and I have accepted that fact. I have settled into a life without dates, without kisses, without cuddling. I am used to being alone. I might not be entirely happy this way, but I am comfortable.

When someone actually shows interest in dating me, I do not know how to handle myself. Sometimes I run away out of fear I will screw everything up. I will ignore texts. I will cancel plans. I will push people away because I never learned how to do the opposite.

I am at a loss when it comes to romance. I don’t know how to be sweet instead of sarcastic. I don’t know how to dress for a first date because I would rather wear sweats. I don’t know the right words to say to seduce someone or the right moves to make when I want them to know I like them too.

I am too insecure to win someone over on a date. I am too insecure to write a witty text back. I am too insecure to be myself because I am busy wishing I was anybody else. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/my-insecurities-are-ruining-my-love-life/

Saturday, July 7, 2018

What Happens When You Lead Her On

lead-her-on-e1528727803185.jpg?w=1140&h=973Unsplash / Hai Phung

Find my eyes in a crowded room and smile at me. Choose the seat closest to me. Ask for my phone number and text me deep in the night to tell me you miss me. Make hypothetical plans with me you will never follow through on because you are too busy. Leave likes across all of my selfies with fire-heart-eye comments. Give me compliments about how much you love the style of my hair and how much you like the way I dress and how much you enjoy spending time alongside me. Make me feel like you are interested in more than a one-night stand. Give me reason to believe you are going to become my boyfriend.

Lead me on, because it’s not like I am going to end up heartbroken. It’s not like I am going to grow attached to the idea of you, stay up every single night imagining what it would feel like to have your arms wrapped around my waist, and count down the seconds until I see you again. It’s not like all of the flirting you have been doing will convince me to fall hopelessly in love with you.

Lean your knees against mine when we are sitting side-by-side. Brush the hair off my face when it falls in front of my eyes. Take me out for food and insist on paying for both of us. Offer me your sweatshirt in the cold. Invite me to your place so we can spend private time together. Show your jealous side whenever the name of another boy leaves my lips. Act like you are always on the edge of making the move I have been waiting for, like it will only be a little while longer until you voice your feelings and make our situation official.

Lead me on, because it’s not like it will be difficult for me to get over you after you walk away without a warning. It’s not like I will spend weeks, months, maybe even years searching for closure because you were not kind enough to explain what the hell you were thinking. It’s not like I am going to develop abandonment issues and have my trust issues worsened because I cared about you and you decided you didn’t care about me. Not enough. Not anymore.

Hold my hand and squeeze. Hug me from behind. Place an arm around my shoulder and let me lean my head against you. Run the tips of your fingers up and down my arm until the goosebumps rise. Invite me beneath the sheets of your bedroom with your body snug against my own. Press your lips against my forehead, my stomach, my neck, everywhere within your reach. Give me every reason to believe you want me as much as I want you. And then drop off the face of the planet, never to be seen again.

Lead me on, because it’s not like I am going to care. It’s not like it makes a difference to me. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/what-happens-when-you-lead-her-on/

Thursday, July 5, 2018

The Most Romantic Love Letters For Him (Because Texts Are Not Enough)

Do not keep your feelings inside. When you care about someone, you should let them know. Express your love instead of keeping it bottled up inside, because even if you assume your person already knows how you feel, it’s always nice to hear the words spoken aloud.

If you are afraid of the words coming out wrong, then you should steal one of these love letters for him. No matter what the occasion, there is a letter that will fit your love story perfectly.

Send these letters on your anniversary…

Love of my life,

I cannot believe another year has passed. It feels like we just met yesterday, but at the same time it feels like I have known you all my life. You make time meaningless. In fact, you make everything else feel meaningless because the only thing that matters is you. You have brought so much light into my life. I would be lost without your torch. Thank you for everything you have done for me — and thank you for helping me grow into the woman I have become.

To my forever person,

I love us. We’re the cutest. I know that sounds braggy, but I mean it when I say that I think we make the perfect couple. We understand each other. We listen to each other. We inspire each other to become stronger with each passing day. Happy anniversary. I cannot wait to spend another year alongside you, because there is no place I would rather be. You’re stuck with me. You better remember that!

Send these letters just because…

My dearest (does that sound too corny?)

I wanted to write you a love letter, but it’s going to sound more like a thank you note. Maybe it’s both. I want to thank you for washing the dishes when I forget my dirty ones are still in the sink. I want to thank you for agreeing to watch shitty reality shows with me and letting me pick the songs during car rides even though we have completely different tastes. I want to thank you for all of the hugs you have offered me to squeeze the sadness out and all of the pep talks you have given me when I doubted myself. Most of all, I want to thank you for existing. Thank you for being my partner. Thank you for being my best friend in the world.

Honey,

I don’t want to wait until your birthday or our anniversary to remind you how much you mean to me. Hint: You mean everything. I know I don’t always say how I’m feeling because I have a nasty habit of keeping my heart guarded, but I hope you realize how much I care about you. I never thought it was possible to have this much love for someone, I never thought my heart could handle it. I know there are days when we argue and don’t see eye-to-eye, but you are the only person I would want to have those arguments with. (Besides, the make up sex isn’t half bad).

Send these letters when you are in the mood…

Hot stuff,

You. Me. Our bedroom. Ten o’clock and not a second later. Be there and wear those sexy boxers that make your ass look delicious. Don’t worry, I’ll be wearing something you like as well… Can’t wait to undress you. XOXO

Romeo,

Even after all of this time, I still get butterflies when you smile at me. I still feel light as air when you press your lips against me. Just thinking about you on top of me, trailing kisses across my chest and stomach and thighs, is making me want you. Badly. I hope we can fix that tonight. What do you say?

Send these letters on his birthday…

My handsome man,

I am going to make this the best birthday you have ever had. It’s going to be filled with high-calorie desserts and way-too-expensive alcohol (and sex, so much sex). I cannot wait to make you the happiest man in the world because you have already made me the happiest woman. Now look up from this letter and kiss me!

Honey,

This is my favorite day of the year. Do you know why? Because I could not imagine my world without you inside of it. I am so thankful I met you and I am thankful to your parents for creating such an intelligent, respectful, compassionate man. I hope this day is extra special. You deserve it.

Send these letters when you want to get back together…

Babe,

Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, maybe this is the worst idea I have ever had, but I cannot get you off of my mind. My friends keep pushing me to get over you, but the thing is that I don’t want to get over you. I don’t want to erase your texts from my phone or your pictures from my camera roll. (No, I still haven’t done those things. Have you?) I know we had our problems, but I believe we can work through them if we both put in the effort. I am willing to do that. I am willing to fight for you. I hope you are willing to do the same.

Beloved,

I never wanted to break up with you. I wanted to move in together, get married, and live happily ever after. I wanted to cook breakfast with you in the mornings and fall asleep on your lap in the evenings. I wanted to see what you looked like with grey hair and see what our kids looked like with your eyes. I had so much more planned for us and I feel like our love story ended prematurely. But maybe we can still do those things. Maybe our story hasn’t officially ended yet.

Send these letters when you’re dating long distance…

To my everything,

I hate being apart from you, but our long distance love gives me something to look forward to each and every day. I keep counting down the moments until I get to feel your arms wrapped around me again, until I get to fall asleep to the sound of your soft breathing, until I get to hear your laugh the second it leaves your lips instead of through the delay of the phone. I love you and I miss you — but the pain of not seeing you is worth it. You are worth it. I would wait a lifetime for you.

My dearest,

Not seeing you has been slowly driving me insane. I cannot wait until the day when we live together. When we will only have to separate for eight hours at a time while we are both away at work. I keep picturing you here, beside me. I keep feeling the phantom touch of your fingers slipping across my skin. I keep hearing the ghost of your voice, teasing me. Sometimes I turn and expect to see you right beside me and am disappointed when reality hits me. I hate being so far away from you. Please visit soon.

Send these letters after you have had a fight…

Darling,

This letter might be the last thing you want to read right now since we just had an argument, but I thought it was the perfect time to say how much I love you. Why? Because I know we are going to get through this. We always do. We are a strong team. We know how to compromise. We know how to remain respectful to each other, even when we are pissed the fuck off. I love that about us. After all, every couple fights, but not every couple handles it as maturely as we do.

Sweetheart,

I’m sorry for hurting you. I never want to be the reason why a single tear falls down that handsome face. I never meant to make you upset. I know you do not even need this apology because you have already forgiven me. You were never the type to hold grudges. But I felt like I needed to say something because I hate that I upset you, even for a moment. I should not have been so cruel to someone so kind. I love you and because I love you, I promise I will grow from this experience.

Send these letters when you have been too busy to text…

My one and only,

We have both been insanely busy lately. We haven’t had much time to sit down and eat together or go on date nights or even climb beneath the covers for some late-night fun. It feels like we only see each other for a brief time each week, but the funny thing is that I don’t feel like we have grown apart at all. I feel like it doesn’t matter whether we spend time apart because our feelings are never going to change. I am never going to love you less. I am never going to want anybody else. I hope you know that. I’m in this for the long haul, honey.

To my soulmate,

I love you. I love you. I love you. I can never say those three words enough and unfortunately I feel like you haven’t heard them at all lately. I’m sorry about that. I’ve been so overwhelmed with work that I haven’t had the time to give you much attention, but that will change soon. You know why? Because I love you. I love you. I love you.

Send these letters when you want to boost his confidence…

My boo,

I haven’t said this in a while but you are the most attractive man I have ever known. I cannot believe you are mine. You make me laugh harder than anyone else. You make me orgasm harder than anyone else. You aren’t perfect, not even close (hah), but you are certainly perfect for me. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. Not a hair on your head.

Darling dearest,

I tell you how much I love you all the time, but I never really explain why I feel that way, so I’m going to do that now. I love the way your voice sounds when you say my name. I love the way your smile tilts when you’re trying not to laugh. I love the way your kisses feel against my neck. I love the way your voice sounds, even if you hate it. I love the man you were when I met you and I love the man I can see you growing into. I love every version of you. I love every messy piece.

Send these letters when you are feeling silly…

Hey you!

Sometimes you suck. Sometimes you make me want to bang my head against the wall. Sometimes you are so frustrating that I can’t even wrap my head around it. But all of those times I still love you. I will love you every day of my life. I will love you when you’re in a rough mood. I will love you when you are sick and whiny. I will love you even when you are being a pain in my ass because I know you do the same with me.

Cutie pie,

You are lucky you’re cute because you drive me insane. Even when you forget to put your folded laundry into their drawers or leave the kitty litter dirty for days at a time (sound familiar?), I still want to throw you against the wall and have my way with you. Is that weird? Or does that just mean I’m madly in love? Maybe it’s both.

Send these letters when you have been together for a long time…

My partner in crime,

We have been together for such a long time because we make sense together. We bring out the best in each other. After all of these years, we are still as happy as we were in the beginning. In fact, I might even be happier. I think that’s something we should be proud about. I think that’s something to cherish.

To my best friend in the world,

We have been through so much together. You have seen me with mascara running across my face. You have seen me with snot running from my nose. You have seen me screaming out my lungs and laughing until my stomach hurts. I have never been this vulnerable with anyone else. I have never allowed my true self to be seen by any other eyes. You know me better than any family members or friends do. Actually that is inaccurate because you are my family. You are the most important piece of my family. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/the-most-romantic-love-letters-for-him-because-texts-are-not-enough/

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

I Don’t Want To Plan Every Single Date

date1.jpg?w=1140&h=641Unsplash / ALP Studio

I don’t want to plan every single date. I don’t want to be the one stuck doing all the work.

I want you to value my opinion. I want you to take my recommendations. I want you to ask me whether I would rather spend the weekend getting drunk or having lazy afternoons inside. I want you to let me pick the restaurant and the movie and the date plans. Most of the time. 

But once in a while, I want you to take charge. I want you to plan dates on your own, without any outside help from me. I want you to surprise me by bringing me to a place I have never been before. I want you to do all of the work so I get the chance to lean back and relax for a change.

Even if you cannot plan out entire dates on your own, then at least give me some assistance. When I ask you what you want to do that day or where you want to eat, I am not hoping you will say, “You can decide.” I am asking you because I want you to help me. I want to hear your opinion. I don’t want to handle everything on my own.

I want you to throw out some ideas, to provide some options, to make me feel like you are putting effort into our date nights the way I have been.

I’m thankful I’m not trapped in a controlling relationship where you make every decision, where you disregard my opinion because you couldn’t care less about my thoughts. I appreciate how willing you are to listen to my opinion and to go along with my plans. I am happy you value my judgement. That means everything to me.

However, it would be nice not to feel the pressure of making every single decision on my own. Sometimes I am in the mood for a specific movie or restaurant — but other times I do not want to bear the burden of choosing.

It can be stressful picking which activity to complete and what time to leave the house so we arrive on time and which roads to follow to reach our destination without hitting too much traffic. That is why I want you to take control, just for a little while, just so I have a chance to breathe.

I am happy to plan date nights — but I don’t want to plan every single one. I don’t want to feel like I am in a one-sided relationship where I have to do everything while you get to enjoy the results without lifting a finger.

I know you are only letting me make the decisions to be nice, because you think it will make me happy, but that is not what I want. I want you to take charge. I want you to have an opinion. I want you to plan dates every once in a while so I don’t have to make every single decision in our relationship. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/i-dont-want-to-plan-every-single-date/

Monday, July 2, 2018

When You’re Dating A Good Guy But Are Still Scared About Getting Cheated On

cheated-on-e1529503721603.jpg?w=1140&h=978Unsplash / João Silas

When you date someone faithful, someone who would never dream of breaking his promises to you, you have a hard time coping with your trust issues. You aren’t sure how to handle it when the fears come creeping back inside because deep down you know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.

There haven’t been any red flags. He has been treating you right since day one. He never looks at another girl for too long. He never comments on how you could look better. He loves you the way you are. He claims you are the most beautiful woman in the world and you believe him, you can tell he is speaking from the heart.

But you have been hurt in the past so you are still skeptical even though you have absolutely no reason to be. You read too deeply into every move he makes, because you have heard stories of cheaters and read articles about them and were probably even cheated on yourself before. You know the signs to watch out for so you keep your eyes open at all times.

If he comes home a little later than usual, if he starts dressing differently, if he buys new cologne, if he smiles down at his phone, then you start to get nervous. The worst case scenario plays out in your mind, taunting you.

You don’t want to accuse him of doing anything when there isn’t any proof, but you don’t want to keep your fears to yourself either because then he will be wondering why you have been so quiet lately. So you open up to him, you tell him that you’re sorry and it’s stupid but you are terrified of being abandoned again.

He might try to calm you down at first, to reassure you that he hasn’t done anything to hurt you, but only the first few times. If you make a habit out of your accusations, then you’ll eventually get into arguments because he has no idea how to make you more comfortable. He has already been doing everything he can and you still don’t trust him. He feels powerless. He feels like he is being interrogated.

When you date a good guy but are still scared of getting cheated on, you know you are probably only being paranoid. You know that you should push your fears to the back of your mind — but you push yourself away from your person instead.

You tell yourself that if you don’t care about him, then you cannot get hurt by him. You erect a wall to protect your heart because you could not even imagine how much pain you would experience if you allowed yourself to trust him, to love him, to dedicate yourself to him and he hurt you anyway.

In the end, you end up sabotaging a perfectly good relationship because you cannot accept the idea that someone loves you and only you, that he wants to spend the rest of his life alongside you, that he wouldn’t choose anyone else even if he had the option. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/when-youre-dating-a-good-guy-but-are-still-scared-about-getting-cheated-on/

When You Love Someone, You Let Your Walls Down

let-your-walls-down-e1529508758181.jpg?w=1140&h=872God & Man

You cannot keep your heart guarded forever. Once you find someone — someone you can trust, someone you can rely on, someone who gives you respect and affection and everything you have ever hoped to receive — then you have to let down the walls that have been protecting you. You have to take a risk, even though it’s scary.

Yes, you could end up having your heart shattered in the end. Your person could abandon you or let you down. But if you never take that chance, if you never allow another person to fully infiltrate your world, then you will be breaking your own heart.

You can risk falling in love or you can risk feeling lonely forever. You can risk giving someone a chance or risk a lifetime of regret about how you walked away before your relationship even began.

When you love someone, you are taking a leap. You are giving them access to your soul. You are giving them the tools to hurt you — but you are also giving them the tools to make you happier than you have ever been before. You just have to have faith they are going to use the right ones, that they are going to choose to cherish you rather than forsake you.

When you love someone, you have to tear down your walls, because they haven’t been protecting you as well as you thought. For such a long time, you kept your guard up. You pushed people away. You called yourself a lone wolf. But didn’t you still experience sadness? Weren’t there still moments when you were disappointed? Just because you were able to hide your emotions doesn’t mean you were able to turn them off.

When you love someone, you have to allow your vulnerable side to be seen. You cannot keep pretending the way you do around the rest of the world. Your feelings should not be hidden. Your emotions should not be repressed. Your person deserves to know who you really are — and a big part of who you are is how you react to things. So let yourself cry in front of them. Let yourself get excited. Let yourself feel.

Show them every single side of you without covering up. If they are the right person for you, then you will not have to work hard to impress them. It will happen naturally, in the moments when you don’t even realize you are being seen. They will spot you reading a book and think about how cute you look as your eyes scan the words. They will hear the excitement in your voice when you talk about your favorite show and swoon over how passionate you sound. They will fall in love with the pieces of yourself you never thought about before.

That is why you shouldn’t pretend in front of them. You shouldn’t put on an act by saying what you think they want to hear, because the real you is more than enough. The real you is someone worth loving. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/when-you-love-someone-you-let-your-walls-down/

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Date Someone Who Puts In As Much Effort As You Do

Never date someone who expects you to put in all of the effort. You shouldn’t be the person running around, planning dates and initiating texts and struggling to find me time, while your person takes whatever you give without offering a single thing in return. Your relationship should not be one-sided, because you will burn yourself out.

Never date someone who puts more effort into the relationship either. You don’t want to be the one who loves less, the one who takes your person for granted. You don’t want to become spoiled and stop carrying your weight because you are dating someone who would never leave you, not even if you neglected them. You don’t want to turn into the kind of person you have always tried to keep away from.

Date someone who loves you as much as you love them. Someone who will put in as much effort as you do.

You should take turns initiating sex and going grocery shopping and washing the dishes. One person should not be in charge of every household chore. You should split responsibilities down the middle, as evenly as you can, so no one feels like they are getting ripped off.

You are supposed to take care of your person and they are supposed to take care of you. When one of you gets sick, the other one should warm up soup and search for the thermometer. When one of you has a rough day, the other one should offer to buy ice cream and give a massage.

Whatever you expect your person to do for you, you should also strive to do for your person.

Your relationship is never going to last if you are a hypocrite. You cannot expect your person to come home on time every night and put dirty clothes in the hamper when you fail to do the same. That would be unfair. That would not make any sense.

You have to give what you want to get. You have to keep the playing field even.

Of course, there will be days when you come home stressed and your person offers to do your chores for the day so you have the chance to relax. Just like there will be days when your person falls asleep early and you go the extra mile so they do not have work to finish when they wake up.

You do not have to keep things 50/50 all the time. That is impossible. Besides, keeping score will do your relationship more harm than good. You don’t want to keep track of every nice thing you have done for your person because you feel like you are owed something in return. You should be doing nice things because you love them, not because you are hoping they will repay you.

As long as you are both trying, as long as you are both doing your best, as long as you are both putting in effort to keep your relationship strong, then you have what it takes to last. tc_mark.gif


Read more: thoughtcatalog.com

https://infoforu.org/date-someone-who-puts-in-as-much-effort-as-you-do/